…..Otherwise known as how the Presidential campaign will mimic the Vulcan mating battle called Kal-i-fee.
Dear Friends (and fans of LEGAL INSURRECTION, who named this analogy post of the day!!!Thanks, Professor.):
The results from New Hampshire were coming in, and I was following them via one of my favorite pundits on-line as the Young Prince was watching the newest Star Trek movie. Assuming that you are regular readers because you like my optimistic take on events, I want to share an uplifting epiphany I had last night:
If Mitt Romney wins the nomination, we will be treated to the American version of the ritual battle known, as kal-if-fee.
This battle pits two normally emotionally remote aliens against eachother, the winner taking a luscious Vulcan babe as the prize. In our case, both contenders will be pretending to have a “blood fever” to service the “bride” (in this analogy, the American Republic).
Maybe because I am part Romanian, and likely have some Roman legionnaires in my bloodline, I am actually excited about the prospect. If done right, this could be a very thrilling election cycle. Before you discount my assertion, let me provide more details.
To get started, it may be worthwhile to review the concept of Pon Farr. In the Star Trek canon, pon farr is a biologically-based, instinctual mating process that occurs among Vulcan males and females every seven years. During this time, they have “blood fevers”, become violently Klingon-ish in their behaviors, and can die if they do not mate with someone with whom they are empathically bonded or engage in a ritual battle with a rival. I came across this wonderful YouTube compendium of Pon Farr, which should amuse all the Trekkies in my fan base:
Should Mitt prevail in the primary, let’s take a look at the likely general election process, as the struggle to remove Obama from office begins. In one corner, there is Mitt — intellectual, waffling, and does not relate to middle income people. His rival, Obama. While some people claim he Obama actually a real alien, the truth is he has a distant, professorial way – some say arrogant – of exercising his questionable “mandate.”
Mitt will enter the ring with only a few friends: Some well known talk show hosts and conservative pundits. Obama will be accompanied by a bridal party of the elite media that has as its sole goal to re-elect him.
Some pundits say that the upcoming election will be passionless. I disagree. I anticipate it will be a real blood battle. Mitt Romney has shown he is a most determined opponent (see here, here and here). On the other hand, Obama has shown there is no stunt his team will not be willing to execute for re-election.
In other words, KUNAT KALIFEE, BABY!
As I have said before, one of the many of the reasons I am glad I am a Democrat is that I don’t have to wonder why the elite GOP is ignoring my opinion on the relative merits of their primary candidates. Like many others, I am clearly in the ABO camp. For example, I do not feel safer since Obama took the oath of office: Obama releases Taliban Leader from Gitmo.I thought national security was a “prime directive” of the President.
So, if the South Carolina and Florida primaries indicate Romney is the likely candidate, I will start to define my support for his election. Despite his misguided policies, I know he loves his country. Romney is not likely to spend 25% of his professional time on the golf course or fund-raising events. The Supreme Court will stay sane under his Presidency.The crony capitalism will be less blatant.
And now, I offer the most persuasive reason for supporting Romney as President:
(Note: Michelle Obama indicates the portrayal of her as “angry” is unfair. In other words: WHO DO YOU BELIEVE, ME OR YOUR OWN LYING EYES? I just hope that the LA Times makes note of my graphic and gives me a little publicity. Perhaps Rush Limbaugh might even mention this little blog).
UPDATE: I am reminded of this wonderful Bill Whittle video I saw a while back:
The Dowd Conundrum: Why Vulcans and Other Intellectuals Don’t Belong in the Big Chair
LOL!
Nice. Michelle looks like one of the Duras sisters. B’tor maybe?
I have to take issue with your relation of Vulcans to Klingons. Emotional Vulcans are ROMULANS. One of the key things Star Trek got right is the fact that when you remove logic from power the remainder is aggression. This is the story of the Vulcans and Romulans who are a race split between logic and passion.
Great work, Leslie! Thanks for the link. I had forgotten how hot Savic (?) was back in the day. Yikes.
Great post and funny graphics! However, I can’t agree about the excitement. If Romney is the nominee, I’ll be too busy cleaning barf off our carpets to get too enthused about voting for him. This election cycle has shown me how little the Republican punditocracy and establishment cannot be trusted. I feel like they’re shoving this creep down our throats. The independent voters in my house would be willing to vote for Gingrich or Santorum but will never, under any circumstances, vote for Romney.
I didn’t grow up on Star Trek — My favorite was watching the original and the numerous remakes of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” An alien life form in the form of large green vegetable pods comes to earth and begins to subsume human life by taking over the minds of sleeping humans. Afterward they remain people (more or less); they look like people and go about their business. But they are disinterested and unaware, all intelligence is gone.
The original film was vintage 1956 and ended ambiguously. We do not know who wins: us or the pods. In 2012, it is clear that the pods won after all, especially in California.
As for O, he is clearly a pod. 57 states, corpsemen, talking without saying anything, ….are all sure signs of pod-dom. I am not sure whether Romney is a pod or not. But on the chance that he isn’t he has my vote.
My vote goes to the spouse of the obvious choice for first lady…the truly unangry one.
Nice story and a great link, too, to the Hot Air piece about RP telling the others to drop out. Mitt is a manager, not a leader, and he’d only be less bad than the incompetent, psuedo-intellectual failure now occupying the White House. I hope that RP extracts a lot from him – the next Fed Charimanship, the A/G appointment, and maybe the VP slot or control of the RNC, in exchange for supporting him in the fall.
This is an election that reminds this Detroiter of a Chicago Bears vs. dallas Cowboys football game: Can they both lose, please?
it’s just a tough time to be a ‘Tory Minarchist’ – the choices are Jacobins or Prussian Junkers.
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