…..Otherwise known as how the Presidential campaign will mimic the Vulcan mating battle called Kal-i-fee.
Dear Friends (and fans of LEGAL INSURRECTION, who named this analogy post of the day!!!Thanks, Professor.):
The results from New Hampshire were coming in, and I was following them via one of my favorite pundits on-line as the Young Prince was watching the newest Star Trek movie. Assuming that you are regular readers because you like my optimistic take on events, I want to share an uplifting epiphany I had last night:
If Mitt Romney wins the nomination, we will be treated to the American version of the ritual battle known, as kal-if-fee.
This battle pits two normally emotionally remote aliens against eachother, the winner taking a luscious Vulcan babe as the prize. In our case, both contenders will be pretending to have a “blood fever” to service the “bride” (in this analogy, the American Republic).
Maybe because I am part Romanian, and likely have some Roman legionnaires in my bloodline, I am actually excited about the prospect. If done right, this could be a very thrilling election cycle. Before you discount my assertion, let me provide more details.
To get started, it may be worthwhile to review the concept of Pon Farr. In the Star Trek canon, pon farr is a biologically-based, instinctual mating process that occurs among Vulcan males and females every seven years. During this time, they have “blood fevers”, become violently Klingon-ish in their behaviors, and can die if they do not mate with someone with whom they are empathically bonded or engage in a ritual battle with a rival. I came across this wonderful YouTube compendium of Pon Farr, which should amuse all the Trekkies in my fan base:
Should Mitt prevail in the primary, let’s take a look at the likely general election process, as the struggle to remove Obama from office begins. In one corner, there is Mitt — intellectual, waffling, and does not relate to middle income people. His rival, Obama. While some people claim he Obama actually a real alien, the truth is he has a distant, professorial way – some say arrogant – of exercising his questionable “mandate.”
Mitt will enter the ring with only a few friends: Some well known talk show hosts and conservative pundits. Obama will be accompanied by a bridal party of the elite media that has as its sole goal to re-elect him.
Some pundits say that the upcoming election will be passionless. I disagree. I anticipate it will be a real blood battle. Mitt Romney has shown he is a most determined opponent (see here, here and here). On the other hand, Obama has shown there is no stunt his team will not be willing to execute for re-election.
In other words, KUNAT KALIFEE, BABY!
As I have said before, one of the many of the reasons I am glad I am a Democrat is that I don’t have to wonder why the elite GOP is ignoring my opinion on the relative merits of their primary candidates. Like many others, I am clearly in the ABO camp. For example, I do not feel safer since Obama took the oath of office: Obama releases Taliban Leader from Gitmo.I thought national security was a “prime directive” of the President.
So, if the South Carolina and Florida primaries indicate Romney is the likely candidate, I will start to define my support for his election. Despite his misguided policies, I know he loves his country. Romney is not likely to spend 25% of his professional time on the golf course or fund-raising events. The Supreme Court will stay sane under his Presidency.The crony capitalism will be less blatant.
And now, I offer the most persuasive reason for supporting Romney as President:
(Note: Michelle Obama indicates the portrayal of her as “angry” is unfair. In other words: WHO DO YOU BELIEVE, ME OR YOUR OWN LYING EYES? I just hope that the LA Times makes note of my graphic and gives me a little publicity. Perhaps Rush Limbaugh might even mention this little blog).
UPDATE: I am reminded of this wonderful Bill Whittle video I saw a while back:
The Dowd Conundrum: Why Vulcans and Other Intellectuals Don’t Belong in the Big Chair