Dear Readers: In light of all the heavy news we have been covering, here is something humorous as a palate cleanser –
By Ian Doescher
Updated Wednesday, July 3, 2013, at 9:40 AM
An excerpt from William Shakespeare’s Star Wars®: Verily, A New Hope by Ian Doescher, published this month by Quirk Books.
ACT V, Scene 5, lines 279-329. Space.
BIGGS Make haste, O Luke. Methinks they do approach
E’en faster than before. I shall not hold
Them back for long!
LUKE —Now, R2, straight increase
R2-D2 —Beep, whee.
BIGGS —Make haste, Luke. O, alas!
[Darth Vader shoots. Explosion. Biggs dies.
LUKE That ever I should see this day, O woe!
My childhood friend from Tatooine now slain
Protecting me from harm. Thou ow’dst a life—
Dear Biggs, sweet Biggs—and thou hast paid. And now
’Tis down to me: the boy turn’d warrior.
Be still, my errant heart, and seek the Force.
VADER The leader now is mine.
R2-D2 —Meep, beep.
C-3PO —Take care
Sweet R2-D2! Come thou back, I pray!
CHORUS Luke’s ship comes closer to the little port
While Vader and his crew draw all too near.
Young Luke to his computer doth resort
Until he hears the voice speak in his ear.
Enter Ghost of Obi-Wan Kenobi.
GHOST O use the Force, dear Luke. Let go and trust!
VADER I sense the Force in this one here, almost
As if I did my younger self espy.
GHOST I prithee, trust me, Luke. All shall be well.
LUKE The hearing of these words is like a balm
Unto my soul. So shall I trust the Force
And not this fallible computer here.