Dear Readers: An awesomely awesome read today from Iowahawk, which is an essential for anyone who loves history and wit.
Anyhow, every since we got wifi at the Pantheon, I’ve been spending a lot more time online checkin’ out the dillyo back in the mortal ‘hood. That when I read about this choad praetor Rocco Landesman, saying that your new imperator Obamacus is “the most powerful writer since Julius Caesar.” At first I was LMFAO because, let’s face it, the Juice didn’t waste his prime warrior time word processing a bunch of papyrus scrolls. Word cuz, where I come from that kind of bullshit is for light-in-the-sandals scribefags like Livy and Plutarch. So I guess it was like hearing “Obama is the greatest chariot mechanic since Julius Erving.” But then I think about it, and I’m like, WTF? Obama’s palace asslick is comparing him to me? Srsly?
Agrippa, please — act like you know. Skinny fool stages his own tribute in front of some brokeass styrofoam Roman columns, lines up some chump posse of media hagiographers and art school twats, and now y’all are like he’s some OG mac daddy Julio-Claudian baller. Well, the Juice is here to say there ain’t no half steppin’ in the SPQR
MUT’s MONEY QUOTE: Yo Obamacus, Rome up your shit!
Iowahawk, we love you, man! A special shout-out from the ancient Egyptian contingent at the Shrine of Flaming Capitalism! And here is a famous depiction of the Queen of Egypt, Cleopatra VII, meeting Julius Caesar: