WELOME ANCHORESS READERS!!! I am blessed to have you here today, and glad the Anchoress enjoyed my geeky take on current events. Please also check THIS POST out, if you have a chance; it is an homage to my father and two intrepid young Americans.
Dear Readers: Last weekend, my beloved Horemheb set-up our new 40-inch big screen. Wanting to break it in properly, I popped in one of my favorite movies: DEEP IMPACT.
Watching it, I had am epiphany: The reasons behind all of Obama’s budget chaos, financial crises, and stunning policy decisions are outlined in the movie. He is financing a secret mission to destroy a potential Earth-impactor!
For those of you unfamiliar with the movie, let me give you a run down. Tea Leoni (MUT Note 1: Tea is a hugely underrated and under-used actress; I hope she keeps her politics to herself and finds herself some worthy vehicles — she is awesome) plays an intrepid young journalist. After a little undercover work and some internet research (MUT Note 2: For giggles, check out the primitive search engine during this portion of the film), she discovers that the ELLIE being referred to by high-level government officials is not some mistress, but an E.L.E. (Extinction Level Event).
Pandemonium ensues. World is saved. Tea dies.
For film fans, some may be interested to note that a young Elijah Wood (Lord of the Rings hero, Frodo) plays a young man who first sees the asteroid, and film royalty Vanessa Redgrave plays Tea’s mom. Morgan Freeman plays the President, which only makes me long for him to actually BE the real President. But, I digress.
The keystone to saving Earth is a ship called the “Messiah” (you know this part is fictional, because no politician would name anything remotely identifiable with Christianity; the real ship is probably called the “Shiva” or the “Ra”). Robert Duvall is part of a team who flies to the impactor comet, so they can detonate a series of bombs — busting it into harmless pieces. The expense is enormous, and the American government has tried to do as much of this pricey work undercover, so as not to panic the global population.
President Beck (Freeman): We always thought the deadline for public knowledge was the publication of next year’s budget since we’ve spent more money than we can account for. That won’t happen for two weeks. I don’t suppose I could prevail upon you to wait two weeks in the name of national security?
Jenny Lerner (Leoni): Two weeks? There’s no such thing as two weeks in the news business.
Here is a humorous image I came across in my quest to be entertaining today.
I would like add a little science into the mix, by noting that asteroid Apophis is warranting some scrutiny by Earth scientists. According to Wiki, calculations on the orbit of Apophis:
indicated a small probability (up to 2.7%) that it would strike the Earth in 2029. Additional observations provided improved predictions that eliminated the possibility of an impact on Earth or the Moon in 2029. However, a possibility remains that during the 2029 close encounter with Earth, Apophis would pass through a gravitational keyhole, a precise region in space no more than about 600 meters across, that would set up a future impact on April 13, 2036.
For those of you who like your science a little more hard-core, here is a piece from NASA’s Near Earth Objects Program: Predicting Apophis’ Earth Encounters in 2029 and 2036. It has diagrams, details, and graphs!
On a Flaming Capitalist note, Planetary Society awarded $50,000 in prize money to companies and students who submitted designs for space probes that would put a tracking device on or near the asteroid. I think it is time to follow the money! It will surely explain the current US budget!
As an additional bonus, as I feature Egyptology in my comments when warranted, Apophis (aka Apep) is the name of an ancient Egyptian demon. He oversaw darkness and chaos.
This certainly puts my mind at ease. It is good to know Obama is on top of such matters, and having his minions causing needless distractions via racism accusations so as not to create panic (MUT Note 3: I predict These peaceful crowds will be a thing of the past when the news of the impending impactor gets out!). It would explain why Obama’s beloved ACORN is getting defunded! It is heartening to know we are NOT stabbing the Poles and Czechs in the back, but helping really save the entire world (won’t those Poles have egg on their face after this front page piece):
(Translation: “Betrayal! The U.S. sold us to Russia and stabbed us in the back!”)
Such news might explain why a 3-day cruise to Ensenada costs only $139! If that is not a sure sign of the Apocalypse, I don’t know what is!
Stay tuned! Next week I will list Extinction Level Events through history!