Dear Readers: The news from Wisconsin is cause for celebration today. If you want to celebration to continue, contribute to the Republicans going against the Democrats next week (especially Kim Simac, who has a good shot; and Jonathon Steitz), then sit back and enjoy the schadenfreude.
As a treat for us all, I am presenting this special post from Professor Athena, the Shrine’s Economy and Finance Expert:
The pink light of dawn is just rising over the east White House lawn, as President Barrack Obama sips his coffee and relaxes in his private quarters. Suddenly he hears a noise outside, and steps to the windows to see the amazing sight of a galloping horse. To his astonishment, as the rider slows to dismount and turns to toward him, he sees clearly the face of President Ronald Reagan. Too spellbound to shout for the Secret Service outside his door, he watches as Reagan strides through the outer wall and toward him. Before he can react, the former President is in front of him, speaking.
Reagan: “Barry, can I call you “Barry”??? I’m known as a pretty tolerant guy, but I’ve had enough. Stop using my name in speeches to justify huge increases in federal spending.”
Obama: What are you talking about? Everybody uses your name. It broadens the likability factor, makes me look like a moderate kind of President who likes Republicans.
Reagan: Yeah, but it’s all about context. Using my name to try and bring respectability to what you are doing is like…well, let’s say it’s like holding a church service in a cat house. Nobody is fooled and nobody is getting what they are there for.
Obama: I’m not certain I am following the conjecture of your conversation.
Reagan: Well, it’s all about the fact that you want to grow government.
Obama: Well, government is good because it creates hope for people.
Reagan: The government doesn’t do that, son. Real people do that.
Obama: You have to admit that change is what is needed. The policies of Republicans are what took our economy off a cliff.
Reagan: (shakes head in tolerant disbelief) What took our economy off a cliff isn’t the policies of Republicans. It is a misplaced belief that government can solve all of our problems first, and that people therefore don’t have to accept responsibility for their own actions and solve their own problems. The policies of liberals instilled through the past few decades have meant that we have fewer Americans who considered it a disgrace to miss their house payments and file bankruptcy. Instead, they blame the banks who lent them the money in the first place. Banks made bad bets and should have been forced to live with them, in particular those Wall Street guys.
Obama: Now, c’mon. I’ve talked a lot of smack about those guys.
Reagan: Yes, you have. And they contributed to your campaign in record numbers. It seems to me the legislation you passed after 2008 helps the big banks and kills the others. It sets up the feds in residence at all the largest banks, meaning you underscore that they are too big to fail. Perhaps you can explain to me how that will work.
Obama: Well, I’m told that the feds will show the bankers how to prevent insolvency and run their businesses profitably without putting the economy at risk.
Reagan: You mean the way Congress has done?
Obama: They may not be the best example.
Reagan: You’re tellin’ me!
Obama: Anyway, I know that if I want to be re-elected in 2012…and BOY I SURE DO…I have to appear to be a centrist. So that’s what I’m trying to do. Can I pet your horse?
Reagan: No, he bites liberals, and he’s been known to take a dump on socialists, so I wouldn’t walk behind him if I were you. I have one other point I would like to make. You are killing businesses in America with policy. You are over-regulating, over-taxing, and over-killing in the case of this crazy ObamaCare. You are making it too expensive to hire people. Don’t even get me started on the labor unions. You know my history there. I know they elected you, but the people they have put out of work may see through it and take you down at the polls. See the big picture! You’re killing business, big and small. One week it’s the banks. Another it’s the oil companies. Another it’s airplane manufacturers. It appears the only business you want to see prosper are government and “green jobs”. That brings me to another question I have. What are “green jobs”, anyway?
Obama: Well, you know. Those are the jobs that are environmentally responsible. Like electric cars, for example.
Reagan: Well, I like the idea of electric cars. But, so I can understand what you are saying, don’t they have to be re-charged pretty often? And, how do you do that?
Obama: Wind turbines and solar energy.
Reagan: (laughing) I’ve never seen a car driving down the Santa Monica freeway with a wind turbine, or solar panels. That must be an interesting vehicle.
Obama: Well, you plug the car in at your house, in the garage, or at a charging station.
Reagan: Oh, I see. Where does their electricity come from?
Obama: The power company.
Reagan: You mean the ones the EPA has mandated can’t use oil or coal or nuclear energy?
Obama: Well, yes.
Reagan: Hmmmm. The brown-outs will match my favorite suit.
Obama: We have to admit that is a possibility.
Reagan: I can feel your concern even here in the spirit world. Speaking of which, I must go now.
Obama: Wait! Before you go, I just gotta know how I go about being the “Great Communicator” you were when you were President.
Reagan (gently chuckling): Son, it isn’t about being a “great communicator” at all. It’s about communicating great ideas.
Reagan turns even as the image of his spirit begins to fade, puts a foot firmly in the stirrup of his saddle, and the man and his horse blend perfectly into the mist rising across the White House lawn.
But his voice echoed, “Wake up! I’ll be watching!”